I feel I’m being selfish

OK so this is the second try at writing this.

This weekend has not been good for anxiety attacks.

Friday was the worst I’d had in ages, months in fact. 
Him indoors was going out with the boys straight after work.
I panic everytime he goes out but this week was the worst. My mood started to drop quite early then I started loosing my temper within such a short space of time my whole body felt like it was burning and I felt physically sick. The crying came next, this is when I couldn’t hide the attack from the girls anymore. I was sobbing my heart out.
How the hell was I going to calm down and look after the kids?
The only way I knew that would help was to tell him indoors what was happening. I felt selfish!!
Was I just about to ruin his night out? His first night out in months and the first time he had seen some old work colleges in even longer.
So instead of phoning him (as talking was not an option) I sent him a message.
I started by apologising. “I’m sorry but I’m just about to ruin your evening, I’m sorry”
Thank goodness I shared how I was with him. I should of known he wouldn’t be upset or angry with me but manage to calm me down enough to be able to stop crying.
I was very thankful to see him home that evening.

As some of you may have read earlier in the week we had a new arrival to our family. My brother and sister in law welcomed their third baby into this mad world. A baby boy.
I am so happy for them and all the family. So why can’t i show it?
I’ve still not opening shared my birth story for a number of reasons. However I have had treatment for PTSD. This seems to of worked for some time and I have come on leaps and bounds ……until I come into contact with pregnant ladies, newborns or birth stories.
And this is where I start to feel bloody selfish again.
I want to be able to meet my new nephew and congratulate my family on their new addition. Instead I feel anxious and close to panic attack again. This is not fair and not right.

So here I am writing it down so that maybe people can understand a little why I seem to be coming across moody and selfish or even relate to what I am suffering.

This week I will return to see the doc and hope they can offer me some help other than the meds I’m already on.


Win tickets to The Baby Show

I have attended The Baby Show twice with Darcey at London Excel.
Once whilst I was pregnant to have a good look at what products and services were available to us once she had arrived and then the second when she was 6 months old.
Both visits were invaluable to us in one way or another.

We will be attending again this October at London Olympia. She will be 14 months old by then so again we will be looking into the next stage of living with a toddler  (god help me haha) I am looking forward to seeing new products that will be there to try and the specialists that can help us with all aspects of parenting too.


I’m running a competition for you to win 2 tickets to attend the The Baby show.
All details below

Win tickets to The Baby Show in Kensington Olympia

The Baby Show with Made for Mums, the UK’s leading pregnancy and parenting event, will be returning to Kensington Olympia from 23rd-25th October 2015.  The Show is a must-attend event for new and expectant parents providing everything needed for bump, baby and you including all the essentials, alongside the latest, innovative products and boutique brands. 

The Baby Show highlights include:

· Over 200 trusted brands offering visitors the chance to thoroughly test and try before buying.

· Exclusive show offers and competitions from top parenting brands.

· The Baby Show stage will feature an array of leading experts, including nutrition specialist Annabel Karmel, breastfeeding specialists Geraldine Miskin and Clare Byam Cook, first aid expert Tracey Taylor from The British Red Cross and sleep experts Mandy Gurney and Fi Star Stone.

· Catwalk shows with all the latest fashions in maternity, baby and toddler wear.

· A complimentary crèche where parents can drop off their little ones and enjoy the Show knowing they are being cared for.
The Baby Show is taking place on Friday 23rd, Saturday 24th and Sunday 25th October, open from 10:00-5:30pm each day.  Standard tickets are £20 and we have 2 pairs to give away. http://www.thebabyshow.co.uk

Ticket Competition Terms & Conditions

No purchase necessary. Entrants must be aged 18 years or over. Competition is open to UK residents only.

Entry into this competition confirms your acceptance of these Terms and Conditions and your agreement to be bound by the decisions of The Baby Show.  

Entry is strictly limited to one entry per person.  The winner will be notified by email or phone call once the competition closes. The winners will be selected at random from all the correct entries received before the closing date and time. All prizes must be accepted as offered. There can be no alternative awards, cash or otherwise.  There is no cash alternative to the stated prize.  Entrants will receive a ticket code which can be activated at http://www.thebabyshow.co.uk

Your data will be treated in confidence and will not be disclosed to third parties.

All you have to do is tell me in the comments which other London venue has The Baby Show been held at this year?

The winners name will be drawn on 5th October at random.



Forever Living Review

A short while ago I was asked by my local Forever Living Consultant to review a selected few of their products.


She gave me a large basket of goodies and I was able to try them across three days. 

In the basket was an array of products including a sports drink, mascara, aloe gel, all covering many beauty needs and skin aliments especially excema

I am normally very fussy about the type of mascara I use, however I felt I needed to give this one a try.
They have two types, one lengthening and the other volumising. They are both the same mascara however the wands are different.
I chose to use the lengthening to compare with my No7 mascara that I swear by. Below are the results, I did have to apply a few coats, I do this with all mascara. It didn’t flake either which was good as i find many can.



I had many compliments about my lashes when I wore it and would recommend it to others.

I also tried Aloe Vera Gelly. It is a  translucent gel easily absorbed by the skin.  I found it grear to sooth minor skin irritations and soreness especially insect/mosquito bites. As some of you maybe aware we are a family that suffer with eczema so we also gave it try on affected areas and we found it to be cooling and a welcome relief.


Now I love a good exfoliate and will use a daily one normally. So I thought I’d give the deep cleansing exfoliate a try from their  Sonya Skincare range, it’s suitable for all skin types including sensitive skin like mine. This range has anti-ageing benifits- helps to build up a resistance to


factors that causes skin to age, and we all love the thought of looking a tad younger than our actual years. It left my skin feeling soft and refreshed. I followed it up with the refreshing toner which smelt devine.

I was a bit dubious using the Forever Bright Tooth gel as it is BRIGHT green! Hahaha I did wonder if it would taste a bit peculiar too, however I was pleasently suprised. Yes it has a different texture to most shop bought pastes but it did leave my mouth and teeth feeling extremely clean and fresh. It is suitable for children and adults as is fluoride free and no bleach


I hope this gives you all a slight insight to Forever Living products that can be purchased from a local consultant.
I wish I had managed to give more of their products a good try, maybe I will be able to in the future.

I have popped a link below to Leanne that distributes all of the above products and more.
If you have any questions or orders I am sure she will be happy to help you